Cum sa te opresti din plans (publicat 2018)

Credit … iStock

De Nina Bahadur

Plansul este complet normal si sanatos, dar multi dintre noi nu vor sa planga in fata altor oameni. Cand nu vrem sa plangem in fata altor oameni, putem face ceva pentru a salva fata?

Ad Vingerhoets, autorul cartii „De ce numai oamenii plang: dezlegarea misterelor lacrimilor”, a spus ca exista doua componente distincte pentru plans: sunetele de suferinta vocala si producerea de lacrimi. Dr. Vingerhoets, profesor de psihologie clinica la Universitatea Tilburg din Olanda, a declarat ca apelurile de primejdie sunt frecvente in randul sugarilor umani si animale, un produs al evolutiei care avertizeaza parintii cu privire la locatia si disconfortul descendentilor lor. Dar zgomotele de suferinta vocala pot atrage si pradatori. Oamenii au o copilarie prelungita in comparatie cu alte animale, asa ca, probabil, ca mecanism de protectie, a teorizat el, am dezvoltat lacrimile ca o modalitate vizibila de a semnala suferinta.

Cand plangem, un stimul emotional incepe un proces in creier si declanseaza eliberarea lacrimala din glandele lacrimale chiar deasupra ochilor. Dr. Vingerhoets a spus ca motivele noastre pentru plans se schimba pe masura ce imbatranim. Copiii si sugarii vor plange de durere fizica, dar adultii rareori. Dupa adolescenta, empatia umana se maturizeaza, iar adultii ar putea plange ca reactie la suferinta altora (atat in ​​realitate, cat si pe ecran). Emotiile puternice pozitive de la o reuniune, victoria echipei sau performanta artistica in miscare ar putea determina si adultii sa planga. Dar, potrivit Dr. Vingerhoets, exista doua declansatoare majore consistente pentru plansul adultilor. „Primul este neputinta si neputinta”, a spus el. „Al doilea, separarea si pierderea”.

Daca anticipezi plansul

Daca identificati in prealabil situatii potential pline, va puteti limita raspunsul emotional, a spus Lauren Bylsma, profesor asistent de psihiatrie si psihologie la Universitatea din Pittsburgh.

● Plangeti inainte de a va confrunta cu un conflict . Daca mergeti la o intalnire pe care o temeti sau stiti ca o conversatie va deveni urata, tratati-va emotiile inainte de fapt. „Poate permiteti-va sa strigati in prealabil”, a spus dr. Bylsma. „Veti avea mai multe sanse sa va pastrati calmul daca ati facut deja acest lucru.”

● Luati in considerare cel mai rau scenariu si repetati cum sa il gestionati. In acest fel, a spus dr. Bylsma, esti pregatit sa te confrunti cu orice.

● Invatati sa pastrati conversatia pe drumul cel bun . „Evitati escaladarea emotiilor”, a spus dr. Bylsma. „Ramaneti la fapte si nu va lasati prins de o cearta emotionala aprinsa. cestmonprix.fr Puteti repeta ce veti spune si cum veti spune, pentru a nu se incalzi prea tare. ”

Daca simti ca vin lacrimi

De prea multe ori o situatie emotionala sau un conflict te prinde pe neasteptate.

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In aceste cazuri, exista cateva trucuri de incercat pentru a va opri lacrimile.

● Apasati butonul de resetare emotionala – cu limba . „Pur si simplu impingeti limba pe acoperisul gurii si veti inceta instantaneu sa plangeti”, a declarat Janine Driver, director executiv al Institutului pentru Limbajul Corpului din Washington.

● Relax your facial muscles. Ms. Driver said that your inner eyebrows pull together and up when you are genuinely sad, and that loosening those muscles will “lock up” your tears.

● Breathe deeply. Theresa Nguyen, a mindfulness and success coach who founded More Time More You life coaching in Dallas, said that focusing on your breath can help you step away from your emotions — and stop you from saying anything you might regret later. “Take a deep breath in through your nose for four seconds and hold it for two seconds,” Ms. Nguyen said. “Then, through pursed lips, breathe out for another eight seconds.”

● Give yourself a hard pinch. If you can hide your hands, Ms. Driver suggested: “Simply pinch the skin between your thumb and pointer finger and voila, you will instantly stop crying.”

Make the tears disappear

Once the waterworks have ended, you may well find yourself with a flushed face and red, puffy eyes. Dr. Deanne Mraz Robinson, a board-certified dermatologist and founding partner of Modern Dermatology, a dermatology practice in Westport, Conn., said that we hold our breath when we cry. That makes the oxygen levels in our blood drop, turning it a darker shade of red and causing that telltale blotchiness that accompanies a good cry. To get rid of the flush, start by taking big, deep breaths.

“To combat puffy eyes, apply cold to the under eye to help constrict the blood vessels,” Dr. Mraz Robinson said. “If you’re at home, wash your face with cold water or apply an eye mask or a bag of frozen peas from the freezer. If you’re out and about, try wetting your fingers with cold water from the sink and then gently pat under your eyes.”

Dr. Rhonda Klein, who co-founded Modern Dermatology, said that a moisturizer containing niacinamide, a form of vitamin B3 that has anti-inflammatory properties, can help soothe irritated, post-crying skin. She also recommends applying green-toned makeup concealer to neutralize flushing, and using redness-reducing eye drops like Visine.

“You can also apply Afrin — a popular nasal decongestant — topically to the skin to reduce redness,” Dr. Klein said. “The active ingredient in Afrin, oxymetazoline, works by constricting blood vessels, blocking blood from traveling to them and therefore reducing redness.”

When to seek help

If you think your emotions are regularly getting the best of you, chat with your doctor about it just in case — an underlying condition like depression or anxiety could be causing you to cry a lot. druginc.net

“There is no specific amount of crying that is a problem,” Dr. Bylsma said.

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