De ce te prostesti (Nu are nimic de-a face cu autocontrolul) (Publicat 2019)

Daca ati amanat vreodata o sarcina importanta, sa zicem, alfabetizand sertarul pentru condimente, stiti ca nu ar fi corect sa va descrieti ca lenesi.

La urma urmei, alfabetizarea necesita concentrare si efort – si hei, poate chiar ai facut un efort suplimentar pentru a sterge fiecare sticla inainte de ao pune inapoi. Si nu e ca si cum ai sta cu prietenii sau ai viziona Netflix. Curatati – lucru cu care parintii vostri ar fi mandri! Aceasta nu este o lenea sau o gestionare a timpului proasta. Aceasta este amanarea.

Daca amanarea nu este vorba de lene, atunci despre ce este vorba?

Etimologic, „amanare” este derivata din verbul latin procrastinare – a amana pana maine. Dar este mai mult decat doar intarzierea voluntara. Procrastination este, de asemenea, derivat din cuvantul grecesc antic akrasia – facand ceva impotriva judecatii noastre mai bune.

„Se autolesioneaza”, a spus dr. Piers Steel, profesor de psihologie motivationala la Universitatea din Calgary si autorul cartii „Ecuatia de incetinire: cum sa nu mai puneti lucrurile si sa incepeti sa faceti lucruri . ”

Constiinta de sine este o parte esentiala a motivului pentru care amanarea ne face sa ne simtim atat de putreziti. Cand amanam, nu numai ca suntem constienti de faptul ca evitam sarcina in cauza, dar, de asemenea, ca a face acest lucru este probabil o idee proasta. Si totusi, o facem oricum.

„De aceea spunem ca amanarea este in esenta irationala”, a spus dr. Fuschia Sirois, profesor de psihologie la Universitatea din Sheffield. „Nu are sens sa faci ceva ce stii ca va avea consecinte negative.”

Ea a adaugat: „Oamenii se angajeaza in acest ciclu irational de amanare cronica din cauza incapacitatii de a gestiona starile negative in jurul unei sarcini.”

Astepta. Amanam din cauza dispozitiilor proaste?

Pe scurt: da.

Procrastination nu este un defect unic al personajului sau un blestem misterios asupra abilitatii tale de a gestiona timpul, ci un mod de a face fata emotiilor provocatoare si starilor negative provocate de anumite sarcini – plictiseala, anxietate, nesiguranta, frustrare, resentimente, indoiala de sine si dincolo .

„Procrastinarea este o problema de reglare a emotiilor, nu o problema de gestionare a timpului”, a spus dr. Tim Pychyl, profesor de psihologie si membru al Grupului de cercetare pentru Procrastination de la Universitatea Carleton din Ottawa.

Natura particulara a aversiunii noastre depinde de sarcina sau situatia data. S-ar putea datora unui lucru inerent neplacut in legatura cu sarcina in sine – nevoia de a curata o baie murdara sau de a organiza o foaie de calcul lunga si plictisitoare pentru seful tau. Dar ar putea rezulta si din sentimente mai profunde legate de sarcina, cum ar fi indoiala de sine, stima de sine scazuta, anxietatea sau nesiguranta. Privind la un document gol, s-ar putea sa va ganditi ca nu sunt suficient de destept sa scriu asta. Chiar daca as fi, ce vor crede oamenii despre asta? A scrie este atat de greu. Ce se intampla daca fac o treaba proasta?

Toate acestea ne pot face sa credem ca a lasa documentul deoparte si a curata sertarul pentru condimente este o idee destul de buna.

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Dar, bineinteles, acest lucru nu face decat sa asocieze asocierile negative pe care le avem cu sarcina, iar acele sentimente vor ramane acolo ori de cate ori ne vom intoarce la ea, alaturi de stres si anxietate crescute, sentimente de stima de sine scazuta si vina de sine.

De fapt, exista un intreg corp de cercetare dedicat gandurilor rumegatoare si auto-blamante pe care multi dintre noi tind sa le aiba in urma amanarii, care sunt cunoscute sub numele de „cognitii amanate”. Gandurile pe care le avem despre amanare, de obicei, ne exacerbeaza suferinta si stresul, care contribuie la amanarea ulterioara, a spus dr. Sirois.

Dar usurarea momentana pe care o simtim cand amanam este de fapt ceea ce face ciclul deosebit de vicios. In prezentul imediat, amanarea unei sarcini ofera usurare – „ati fost rasplatiti pentru ca amanati”, a spus dr. Sirois. Si stim din comportamentul de baza ca, atunci cand suntem recompensati pentru ceva, avem tendinta de a o face din nou. Tocmai de aceea amanarea tinde sa nu fie un comportament unic, ci un ciclu, unul care devine cu usurinta un obicei cronic.

In timp, amanarea cronica are nu numai costuri de productivitate, ci efecte distructive masurabile asupra sanatatii noastre mentale si fizice, incluzand stresul cronic, suferinta psihologica generala si satisfactia scazuta a vietii, simptomele depresiei si anxietatii, comportamentele slabe de sanatate, bolile cronice si chiar hipertensiunea arteriala si boala cardiovasculara.

Dar am crezut ca amanam pentru a ne simti mai bine?

Daca pare ironic sa amanam pentru a evita sentimentele negative, dar ajungem sa ne simtim si mai rau, asta pentru ca este. Si inca o data, avem evolutie de multumit.

Procrastinarea este un exemplu perfect de prejudecata prezenta , tendinta noastra puternica de a acorda prioritate nevoilor pe termen scurt inaintea celor pe termen lung.

„Chiar nu am fost conceputi sa gandim inainte in viitorul viitor, pentru ca trebuia sa ne concentram pe asigurarea pentru noi insine aici si acum”, a spus psihologul Dr. Hal Hershfield, profesor de marketing la UCLA Anderson School of Management.

Cercetarile doctorului Hershfield au aratat ca, la nivel neuronal, ne percepem „sinele viitor” mai mult ca straini decat ca parti din noi insine. Cand amanam, parti din creierul nostru cred de fapt ca sarcinile pe care le amanam – si sentimentele negative insotitoare care ne asteapta de cealalta parte – sunt problema altcuiva. www.hometalk.com

Pentru a inrautati lucrurile, suntem si mai putin capabili sa luam decizii ganditoare, orientate spre viitor, in mijlocul stresului. Cand se confrunta cu o sarcina care ne face sa ne simtim anxiosi sau nesiguri, amigdala – „detectorul de amenintari” al creierului – percepe acea sarcina ca o amenintare autentica, in acest caz pentru stima de sine sau bunastarea noastra. Chiar daca recunoastem din punct de vedere intelectual ca amanarea sarcinii ne va crea mai mult stres in viitor, creierul nostru este inca conectat pentru a fi mai preocupati de eliminarea amenintarii in prezent. Cercetatorii numesc acest lucru „deturnarea amigdalei”.

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O.K. How do we get to the root cause of procrastination?

We must realize that, at its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity. The solution doesn’t involve downloading a time management app or learning new strategies for self-control. It has to do with managing our emotions in a new way.

“Our brains are always looking for relative rewards. If we have a habit loop around procrastination but we haven’t found a better reward, our brain is just going to keep doing it over and over until we give it something better to do,” said psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Judson Brewer, Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center.

To rewire any habit, we have to give our brains what Dr. Brewer called the “Bigger Better Offer” or “B.B.O.”

In the case of procrastination, we have to find a better reward than avoidance — one that can relieve our challenging feelings in the present moment without causing harm to our future selves. The difficulty with breaking the addiction to procrastination in particular is that there is an infinite number of potential substitute actions that would still be forms of procrastination, Dr. Brewer said. That’s why the solution must therefore be internal, and not dependent on anything but ourselves.

One option is to forgive yourself in the moments you procrastinate. In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam. They concluded that self-forgiveness supported productivity by allowing “the individual to move past their maladaptive behavior and focus on the upcoming examination without the burden of past acts.”

Another tactic is the related practice of self-compassion, which is treating ourselves with kindness and understanding in the face of our mistakes and failures. In a 2012 study examining the relationship between stress, self-compassion and procrastination, Dr. Sirois found that procrastinators tend to have high stress and low self-compassion, suggesting that self-compassion provides “a buffer against negative reactions to self-relevant events.”

In fact, several studies show that self-compassion supports motivation and personal growth. Not only does it decrease psychological distress, which we now know is a primary culprit for procrastination, it also actively boosts motivation, enhances feelings of self-worth and fosters positive emotions like optimism, wisdom, curiosity and personal initiative. Best of all, self-compassion doesn’t require anything external — just a commitment to meeting your challenges with greater acceptance and kindness rather than rumination and regret.

That may be easier said than done, but try to reframe the task by considering a positive aspect of it. Perhaps you remind yourself of a time you did something similar and it turned out O.K. Or maybe you think about the beneficial outcome of completing the task. What might your boss or partner say when you show them your finished work? How will you feel about yourself?

What are some other, healthier ways to manage the feelings that typically trigger procrastination?

Cultivate curiosity: If you’re feeling tempted to procrastinate, bring your attention to the sensations arising in your mind and body. What feelings are eliciting your temptation? Where do you feel them in your body? What do they remind you of? What happens to the thought of procrastinating as you observe it? Does it intensify? Dissipate? Cause other emotions to arise? How are the sensations in your body shifting as you continue to rest your awareness on them?

Consider the next action: This is different than the age-old advice to break up a task you’re tempted to avoid into bite-sized chunks. According to Dr. Pychyl, focusing only on the “next action” helps calm our nerves, and it allows for what Dr. Pychyl called “a layer of self-deception.” At the start of a given task, you can consider the next action as a mere possibility, as if you were method acting: “What’s the next action I’d take on this if I were going to do it, even though I’m not?” Maybe you would open your email. Or perhaps you would put the date at the top of your document. Don’t wait to be in the mood to do a certain task. “Motivation follows action. Get started, and you’ll find your motivation follows,” Dr. Pychyl said.

Make your temptations more inconvenient: It’s still easier to change our circumstances than ourselves, said Gretchen Rubin, author of “Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits.” According to Ms. Rubin, we can take what we know about procrastination and “use it to our advantage” by placing obstacles between ourselves and our temptations to induce a certain degree of frustration or anxiety. If you compulsively check social media, delete those apps from your phone or “give yourself a really complicated password with not just five digits, but 12,” Ms. Rubin said. By doing this, you’re adding friction to the procrastination cycle and making the reward value of your temptation less immediate.

On the other side of the coin, Ms. Rubin also suggested that we make the things we want to do as easy as possible for ourselves. www.mql5.com If you want to go to the gym before work but you’re not a morning person, sleep in your exercise clothes. “Try to remove every, every, every roadblock,” Ms. Rubin said.

Still, procrastination is deeply existential, as it raises questions about individual agency and how we want to spend our time as opposed to how we actually do. But it’s also a reminder of our commonality — we’re all vulnerable to painful feelings, and most of us just want to be happy with the choices we make.

Now go finish up alphabetizing that spice drawer before it becomes your next procrastination albatross.