Nu am vazut niciodata o caramida, nu a vazut un crackhouse

Vrei un razboi cu Don au Tehnicienii vostri

Adu – l, si sa va arate gangsta I’ma

-Joe Crack

Prima comanda de afaceri: ne aflam exact la 13 zile distanta de cea mai mare zi

calendar. Fixeaza-ti fetele si fii gata. Se fac planuri pentru festivitati. Pentru o singura posibilitate, am nevoie de un numar de capete destul de precis, ajungeti la mine daca veti fi in New York si veti participa. Daca nu participati, toate cadourile, gratuitatile, ofrande, afise de inchinare si lauda si alte recunoasteri generale vor fi acceptate inainte sau dupa!

Acum, intoarce-te la chestiunea la indemana. Vineri noapte. Champ a avut de gand sa-l ia cu usurinta, deoarece a fost weekend-ul The Champ pentru a fi de apel. Un colaborator la care vom face referire ca irlandezul a castigat o sticla gratuita la alegere la acest nou sediu Lincoln Park si a cerut ca campionul sa vina cu partasie cu el. Nu este o problema, exista niste restaurari bune in acea zona si nu este prea departe de birou in cazul in care a fost necesar sa se intoarca acolo. Plec de la birou cu o colega de sex feminin si ma hotarasc sa petrec o parte din acest lucru atat de dragut pe zi, intr-o mica unitate asiatica. Rahatul a fost racoros pana cand mierea a inceput sa puna pe presa completa despre mutarea The Champ. Apoi intra in aceasta diatriba despre faptul ca nu are o multime de prieteni si nu se intalneste cu o multime, yadda, yadda yadda. Nu prea e mare aici,

Miscarea s-a mutat apoi in unitatea mentionata mai sus, unde apa de foc la alegere pentru noaptea a fost Stoli. A existat aceasta trupa groaznica a zeului (care probabil se va dovedi a fi urmatoarea Coldplay) „interpretand” sau mai mult ca sa strice zambetul tuturor. Intre a ma intreba cum naiba i-a platit cineva pentru „performanta” si a fi lovit de acest iepuras de zapada din Kentucky, de fapt nu am avut parte de un moment rau. Este posibil sa fi fost alcoolul gratuit. Singurul lucru care a fost penibil toata noaptea a fost indicii destul de subtile care mi-au fost aruncate in cale de „data” unuia dintre colegii mei. Pentru toate

miscegenation that I have witnessed in this city, this was a fairly odd case. First, it was the man, not the woman that was white. And secondly, she did not seem uncomfortable or seem to act like what she was doing was taboo, it just was to her. That is until she got to encounter The Champ! We’ll just say that I was not the only one to notice that she spent the majority of the evening sitting next to and speaking to me. This came up later in the evening but we’ll get to that soon enough. For those of you wondering, I would be up to let this bunny come back home if she were so inclined.

Urmatoarea oprire a fost cateva blocuri in jos, unde m-am lovit literalmente de niste pisici cu care m-am dus la liceu. Acest lucru nu este absolut neobisnuit, deoarece acesti oameni sunt pe tot globul. Acest lucru a facut pentru o seara foarte intoxicata. Am primit cel mai recent fel de mancare despre cine a fost in reabilitare si cine a fost divortat. Am avut, de asemenea, mai multi iepurasi de zapada sa incerce sa ajunga la mine decat ar trebui sa permita legea. Ei nu trebuie sa stie cine sunt sau ca sunt din

Grand Puba school of “touching every flavor but vanilla . . .” Note: this does not apply to accepting free drinks, which I did pretty much all night long. I met these 2 snow bunnies from Michigan outside of the men’s room that I successfully passed off to the 2 co-workers with whom I began the night. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta! Yes I am a bit overzealous here in celebrating what use to be a routine occurrence, but when dealing with the Special Olympics all-stars that I have been dealing with, you tend to take a little more stock in ALL victories! For my graciousness, these bunnies not only paid for ALL drinks all night, but they tried hooking me up with snow bunnies (One of whom referred to me as the biggest, sexiest, blackest man she’s ever seen. I am still not sure how to take this) and then paid for the after drinking oil-fest known as the Weiner Circle.

Numiti-l turistic sau schiop sau orice doriti, trebuie sa mergeti la

Weiner Circle at about 4 AM if you have been drinking all night in Chicago. Sure you can feel your arteries hardening with each bite, but it’s the rude exchanges between the customers and the servers that are necessary. I did think that one of the Michigan snow bunnies was going to cry when a server screamed “C’mon bitches, hurry the fuck up and order!” when we got about 5 steps in the place. When it was my turn to order, The Irishman asked the server was she ready to take me in the back and suck me off. She not so coyly replied “This big sexy man right here, I’d suck him off right here. No need to hide it, I would suck his dick from the back right where he stands.” Free alcohol be damned, this made my night! As someone that has told a chick that she could suck his dick from the back with a crazy straw, I was rather impressed with her level of general nastiness. A close second to this remark was when she told this one customer that asked if they put chili on the dogs “the only chili here is the type that comes out of my ass!!” Yes that was disgusting, but hilarious while intoxicated! This night ended in a rather after school special sort of way that would set the tone for the next day. Some random white dude sat down at our table and invited everyone to his rooftop to smoke “some really good weed”. As to be expected, I passed and called it a night. I hope my co-workers are still alive; I’d hate to be a part of a police investigation.

Rapid inainte pana sambata. Aveti o tunsoare, a intalnit un iepuras in Borders din Hyde Park (din nou) si a planuit sa ajunga cu una dintre All-Stars Special Olympics. A trebuit sa manance mai intai si a decis sa coboare asupra acestui lucru

Thai place that I had already visited but wanted to try again. I’m sitting at the bar minding my own business when this group descends upon me, they looked like the United Nations. Come to find out that they were from Canada and in Chicago having some fun. As an aside, I propose a LGOTH trip to Canada. I mean, there are some fine honies there. Plus on about 5 occasions I have met some BANGING hotties from the great white north (blog medley soon come) during my stay in this lovely city. I might also add that in this particulr group, the Asian Girl had a phatty! I might have had an invitation to Calgary but things did not continue to go so smoothly.

In timp ce astept sa-mi iau mancarea, am incercat sa dau o conversatie cu aceasta voluptuoasa miere de cacao din grup, pentru a nu folosi prea mult. Dupa ce au fost schimbate cateva placeri, dar in cea mai mare parte, ea m-a tratat ca pe muzica de ascensor (doar nu asculta). Prin cerere, m-am alaturat acestui grup in drum spre un club din centru. Liderul grupului, o Guyanese zvelta (cred ca a mintit si a fost intr-adevar un

Red Dot Special. No need to lie, I wasn’t with King Slick that night and this particular RDS could have gotten it!) cutie with some of the most beautiful bright eyes I’ve ever stared into, was on the Diddy-esque Baller’s Baller guest list apparently. Before she could finish saying her name, we were beyond the velvet rope and in the VIP section. Since I was the guest, she asked that I choose the evening’s libations. Of course I acquiesced and Ketel One flowed freely. A few dirty looks from the Cocoa Honey and some time later, RDS whispers to me what I thought was “I really want to make sure that you are having a good time. ” I guess now is a good time to mention that I’m getting over a head cold and haven’t been able to hear anything, especially women in night clubs, for the last week. She leads me to the unisex bathroom where I’m having visions of re-enacting THAT Sean Penn scene in Carlito’s Way where she pulls a clear plastic bag filled with white powder out of her purse. Apparently she said “I really want to do some lines.” Hell of a mistake on my part!!!!! I mean, I NEVER thought for a second that she wanted to DO blow, I was banking on her just wanting to blow (me). As an aside, isn’t extacy suppose to be the club drug of choice these days? She went hard!

Urmatoarele 5 minute au fost ca un rau special dupa scoala. Nu i-am spus atat de bine „La naiba sa iesim aici cu rahatul asta de nuci” (Copyrigth The Grinch 1994), in timp ce a incercat sa ma convinga ca ma va face sa ma simt bine. Incearca rahatul ala cu cineva care nu a crescut in anii 80 !! Mi-am facut iesirea din toata situatia cu ea alergand dupa mine rugandu-ma sa nu ma duc. Sunt afara in cautarea unui taxi si ea si Cocoa Miere ies afara, rugandu-ma sa revin, trec. RDS incepe sa ia naibii sa arunce o tenta (acesta este punctul in care am crezut ca voi ajunge sa petrec noaptea in inchisoare), dar Cocoa reuseste sa o calmeze pana la punctul in care a luat cu asalt in club urland: “FINE, CINE IN INGATRA DACA NOAPTEA MEA ESTE RAZBITA SI NICIODATA N-AM PADUT NICIUN FUN !!! “. Cacao isi cere apoi scuze pentru prietena ei ‘ s si propriile actiuni in timpul noptii. Apoi, trece in acest intreg rafinament pro-negru despre felul in care mi s-a parut tipul „doar dateaza OTB-urile” (Altele decat negrii) si cum crede ca este gresit si altele asemenea. Daca obtineti scor, nici eu nu am idee cum a stabilit ea ca nu sunt tipul pana la data de OTB, pentru ca nu voiam sa adulcesc cocs. Daca va amintiti, am spus ca grupul lor seamana cu

Natiunile Unite, pentru ca TOTUL a fost reprezentat. Banuiesc ca spanzurarea este misto, dar intalnirea este acolo unde trage linia. Evident, faptul ca nu a cazut la farmecul ochilor a fost sexy pentru ea si a procedat sa-l intrebe pe The Champ despre vitalii lui si ce va face restul weekendului. In acest moment, grupul a spus ca pleaca si RDS a facut ca ideea ei sa vina sa intre intre noi, cu spatele la mine si sa-l anuntam pe Cocoa ca merg in alta parte. Sigur stiu sa le gasesc.

Duminica seara a fost, in comparatie, o noapte plictisitoare la locul parului poofy. Am intalnit doar ceea ce poate fi fizic prototipul The Champ (Sanul mare, verifica, inalt, verifica. Zambet frumos, verifica. Prada rotunda, verificare), dar este crud un senior de 22 de ani la

DePaul. Jur, sunt cu siguranta zile in care mi-as dori sa fiu mai mic cu 5 ani si sa nu am constiinta. I-am explicat de doua ori „Regula surorii mai tinere” (Campionul nu va smulge iepurasi mai tineri decat fratele sau mai mic) si mi-a explicat de doua ori ca „. . . va fi o mare problema in relatia noastra daca The Champ insista sa o trateze ca si cum ar trata pe toti ceilalti. interesant!